Eyes Baptized In Mercury
by Lefthanded Bandit
Summary: The two men behind the mask struggle with a certain pawn. Kallen x Lelouch


**Author's Note:** First fanfic in a WHILE, so go easy on me, will you? This would probably be set sometime during R1, maybe R2? Exploring the themes of duality and chess and i guess a little kallenxlulu but its pretty minor. Also, the mercury bit is referring the element mercury which is silver-ish, and Kallen's eyes are blue-ish silver or maybe I'm just colorblind. Okay, my rambling stops here!

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"_The laws of chess are as beautiful as those governing the universe - and as deadly__" -_**Katherine Neville**

Lelouch sat on his bed, hunched over and deep in thought, while fingering the soft cotton with his delicate hands. He glanced at his surroundings, once at the pile of rumpled clothing at the foot of his bed, once at the chess pieces scattered across the desk, and lastly at the helmet staring blankly at him aside the chessboard. It was his second face, his twin soul. He often thought it strange that two such different men existed within one body, but he had long ago accepted it. He crossed the room to the black helm, and held it in his hands. Without Zero, Lelouch was nothing but a high school student, and without Lelouch, Zero would have never existed. Lelouch could never work up the courage to send his own devoted soldiers into battle, knowing very well that they might die at any moment, or to face hostile crowds with a calm countenance, but Zero could. Zero represented, rebellion, ideals, and freedom, but more than anything, Zero was a symbol of…war.

War…what a strange, simple word for such a complicated affair.

He set aside the mask, and picked up a black pawn, idly thumbing the smooth marble while lost in his thoughts. It seemed to him that life and chess were one and the same. After all, the same strategies could be applied to both. Lelouch (or was it Zero this time?) recited to himself some of unwritten rules of chess: Always anticipate your opponent's next move and plan your strategy accordingly. And never, under any circumstances, should you underestimate your pawns. In the game of life, his pawns were people, there to be manipulated and bent to his will, merely a means to an end.

The key difference between the two was that in chess you had no one at your side to help. You had pieces to be played. The queen, the bishop, the knight...They were all vitally important to your game, but in the end you were not actually attached to them. They were simply cold, hard, lifeless pieces of marble, and they had only one purpose. Of course they were necessary to win, but they were not loyal to you, nor they did not yank you out of harm's way at a moment's notice.

Then again, they did not allow eyes that seemed to be drenched in mercury to linger on you for a moment too long, or stare up at you with unflagging loyalty. And they definitely did not turn up in your dreams-no, nightmares- in a wet towel, to shove you down on a tile floor and tear off your clothing.

Kallen… She was his pawn. If all went according to plan, he would use her, place her carefully, and....discard her without hesitation if and when the time came. No, she was more powerful than the lowly pawn. She was the ace of the Black Knights. The Guren and her unquestioning loyalty to the Order made her a formidable ally. With a furrowed brow, he decided that she was more akin to a queen piece.

Yes, she was his queen then. A queen's duty was to protect her king, no matter how high the cost, even if it meant making the ultimate sacrifice. But she was not, and could never be, an equal for the king. At least that was what he firmly reminded himself of time and time again. No matter what could have potentially been different, the fact remained: Lelouch's character was so inextricably linked with the persona of Zero that Kallen could never be more than a piece in his grand game of chess.

Unless-

A sharp rap at the enameled door rudely interrupted Zero's thoughts and Ohgi's voice came from under the door, "Zero, Todoh needs you, he says it's urgent!"

It was Zero who responded, "Yes, right away," and Zero's slim, pale fingers that slipped on the charcoal helm. But it was Lelouch who gave the black queen piece a wistful glance and deposited it in his breast pocket before leaving the room.


End file.
